Queen of My Own ChaosCrazy Is Me!

So I was cruising the Duggar Family website looking at their laundry soap recipe. That by the way was it similar to the one I use but they dilute it more and use less! http://www.duggarfamily.com/recipes.html (so now I’m just using ¼ cup a load to see if it makes a difference in my dingies) Anyhow I ran across their family “Duggar House Guidelines” http://www.duggarfamily.com/houseguidelines.html It is their Family Rules. I thought it was GREAT and wanted to “emulate” them. So I wanted to come up with my own guidelines for our family. I would like to use several of theirs but just re-word them for my young family to understand. That and some of the wording is….for the lack of a better word “churchy.” One that I really liked was this one # 9

Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don’t wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.

So my hold up is the (Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.) I would like to re-word this part so my kiddos will understand or even find a scripture that I can put with it. But I’m having a hard time coming up with something. So I am asking for some suggestions in re-creating this guideline. Any input would be great even if you don’t like the Duggar’s!

It is actually Kid 2’s Birthday today. We are keeping it hush, hush from her though because we are celebrating it on Saturday. We try to do the kids birthday family parties on their birthday to keep them from being confused.  But if we can’t, we lie to them so there are no tears. Except Kid 1 is old enough to read and understand a calendar so THAT was DRAMA!  Anyhow…. FYI  here is how we do Birthdays. On milestone years ( 6 months, 1 yrs, 5 yrs, 8 yrs, 12 yrs & 16 yrs) We do BIG parties with friends and family.  On the other years we just do the quiet family birthday cake and ice cream and presents.  It was a tradition my family started and I think it’s a perfect idea.  On Kid 1’s big 5 I did the whole party with friends and party favors and games. It was so lame. And I hated it! And considering there are really no kids or friends my kid’s ages we are kind of lacking. So this year I decided that I was going to go someplace and let someone else entertain and clean up. This year I chose a trampoline place called Sky Zone. Kid 2 LOVES to jump and run and never sits still. We have a little trampoline here at home and she can and will jump all day long.  So I’ll update on the Big 5 later.

This is a link to her bio http://crazyisme.com/?p=18

January 22, 2010

At this moment I’m feeling alright.  I’ve had a few hard days of “woe is me” and feeling like crap. I have made some progress in keeping the house up.  The dishes still STILL overwhelm me.  How I hate them! I just unloaded the top rack of the dishwasher and got the urge to blog so here I am.  I do not have a dishwasher that works but I do use it for a dish drain because I have that many dishes that I have to keep up on. And even with a full or over packed many loads drying there I’m still not done. But I did do some, so its progression or progress….whatever.  That was last night that I did some and this morning I’m planning on putting away and filling it up again.  Thank goodness I haven’t really been cooking lately because I’m just too tired and have nothing to cook with. It’s sad when you have 30 something forks and have none clean…… pathetic, actually…..embarrassing! Good thing I never have visitors.

My husband has been buggin me lately.  He’s not sure why but he is. He did try this morning to relieve me of some of my duties even though it made him a bit late for work.  Thank you babe! He works hard and I should be more thankful that I do have such a hard working husband. Poor guy putting up with a moody wife (more so then usual) and three little girls that just want to hang all over him.

I’ve been working real, real, real hard on not complaining of my yuckys and pains. It is my nature to whine all day long especially with pregnancy.  But it took me over a year to convince him to have another baby. He just worried about my crazies. I’m very grateful to have this opportunity to play apart in creation again. So I’m just trying to keep it to myself.  I don’t want to do anything because I’m too tired but that is using pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy?? I don’t know. I want to work hard for my family but my lazy nature combined with prego is kicking my butt.  All the other moms- to- be are keeping up their house why cant I?

Ok enough whining. What I plan on doing today is:

More dishes

Fold and put away laundry

Strip bed sheets

Load or two of laundry

Make cookies (from a bag)

Think about and maybe make dinner?

Ok just thinking about it is making me tired and wanting to give up. It is a small list but it’s about all I can handle right now. Somewhere in there I’m going to have to take a nap, I took two yesterday.

What is my status in my house work? Um….. not much just the laundry on the couch is different so something did get done. Been supper tired and ticked at lack of help.  But then again that is something that I really can’t control only my reaction to it. As my mother-in-law once said “just don’t have any expectations and you wont be so disappointed.” (or something close to that.) So get over it woman and get some work done!

Considering I got some great reaction so far to my bravery in showing my house in the real, I plan on updating my progress. Just got to get off my butt and get going……just not tonight maybe tomorrow…..I’m tired…..

So many thoughts going through my head today. I don’t know if I can type fast enough.  Several things are on my mind. Small house, my sanity, $$, Vegas, why, why, why am I afflicted with some of these.  I’ve been thinking about my goals for homeschooling for next school year and how insane that seems when the baby’s due date is in September.  How, how, how is it going to work out!

Yes, this was a planned pregnancy.  And yes, so is homeschooling next year. Why would I put the two together? First pregnancy happened a bit faster then anticipated.  And I am determined not to put off homeschooling another year.  My oldest will be in 3^rd grade next year and kid 2 will be in Kindergarten.( I have decided that I would send her to half day Kindergarten next year so I can concentrate on Kid 1 and our first year at home.)

Some of my reasons for homeschooling are first quality education, and more one on one. The non –educational stuff she was hearing and learning in Kindergarten were my motivation to look into it more.  I want the opportunity to teach my kids right and wrong on our standards and not the worlds.  I want to give them a solid foundation to base their opinions and testimonies on.  Another big thing is their health.  My children seem to have a week immune system.  Not something that’s been diagnosed by a doctor but just a mothers intuition, and the fact that they are sick all the time.  (A lot of the body’s immune system is in the digestive tract and by family genetics we just have bad ones.) Considering kid 1 got mono twice is enough for me.

Now a big problem we have is that Kid 1 and I fight like sisters. Matt’s opinion but it kind of describes it.  It’s sad and something that I have tried to work on but have failed repeatedly. Still a work in progress for sure.  I live for her to go to school so I can get a break.  So again, why? Not everyone will agree with me and even family members don’t (but they do support me) but its right for us.  We feel that she is such a tender, mixed up, complicated girl under her tough, mean personality.  She, like me has a lot boiling inside and if she continues with the worlds outside influence combined with our disastrous relationship that we will lose her.

Now I know that all things great, are going to come to pass when the time comes. I know that there is a lot of work to do to prepare …..well mostly me.  First my attitude towards all the things I find annoying and oppressing.  I seem to live in the “if only ______ then I would be happy” So I am aware of it and daily now trying to change my thought process or redirect it into gratitude.

My other problem is my parenting  and my impatience with my children and my yelling. Yes, I am a yeller. Everyone cringes when I’m on the “war path.”  I need to find a way that works and stick to it. Lead with example and not just words.

Then there is my lack of routine that really bugs me. It doesn’t have to be every minute scheduled. Just some regular everyday routines in house work, kids chores and parenting.  I can’t seem to stick to anything for more then a few days. Even my showers and dressing come at different times of the day. It seems to come down to how my night sleep goes and how I feel when I wake up. If I’m in a lazy mood or grumpy or tired I just go with how I feel.  And I seem to wake up in those moods everyday so by the time I notice I should be doing the “list” or “routines” the day is shot.

I need to work supper hard to get this house ready for a baby and all its gear.  I still really hate this house because of the lack of room (under a 1000 sqr ft.)  and “things” working the way they are suppose to.  I am wondering how we are going to fit a 4^th child in a 10’ by 10’ room and all their clothes.  Toys are not even aloud in the bedroom because there is no room.  We only have one bathroom but a third bed room that is a converted garage.  It is narrow and awkward to arrange but right now it serves as an office and toy storage area and in the future the “classroom.” I cant control the house size or what works and what doesn’t but what I can control is keeping up the house work so I’m not overwhelmed every time I step on a toy or slip on a sock or smack my head or legs on something.  Again I have to redirect my attitude towards gratitude for my blessing and having a roof over my head.  And my big weakness not comparing myself to friend and acquaintances that have normal size new houses.

So how am I going to fix all this? I know a good portion of my “sins” has to be improved before homeschooling or it will become imposable.  AAHHHHH! It’s overwhelming. So I’m starting with baby steps.  Small steps that improve on each other. That and knowing I can’t do this by myself asking my Heavenly Father for help and guidance.  (Still another part of my life that needs a serious overhaul.)  I need to find the confidence in myself to move forward in my goals. But it is soooo easy to not notice your falling back into old habits.

I am going to post some pics of my house as it is at this moment and commit my self and to who ever reads this blog that it will not look like this for long.  It’s embarrassing but a true fact in my life. My house represents the chaos in my mind and I’m going to be working on both.  I am going to work on my baby steps and routines and make improvements. Of course I am deeply overwhelmed by queasiness and exhaustion but I’m going to do the best I can and be happy with little improvements.  My motto for the year is “Progress not Perfection.”

(Click pic to enlarge once click again for a better view of the dust balls!)

Well we got our tree up a little late this year because we needed a new base. (Story here: http://crazyisme.com/?p=17) Matt being so busy had a hard time getting a spare night to work on it. So when he got the chance he wiped something together and made it work. And you know how you have the vision in your head and then it doesn’t look a thing like your vision? Well Matt was none to proud of it and didn’t want me taking pictures but… to bad. My tree was standing sturdy and a tree skirt (or table cloth in my case) covered the base. I was happy.

My star was dead and I had forgotten it died last year so we had a dark star this year. I wasn’t willing to fork over $ for a new one so I waited till the 50% off at WallyMart and happened to pick one up today for $6. NICE! But when I plugged it in it wasn’t the pleasant white I was expecting. No, it was a flashing blue and green light show. Oh well it is Vegas after all.

We said (again) we would keep it light this year with the kids gifts. But when you do the visual lay out it just looks uneven. Oma and Opa gifts ranged is size and so did ours, so considering that size and not $$ matter to kids I had to do some shuffling to get it to seem even. And then I kept running into great “family” gifts so in the end it was a big Christmas. Just have to try it again next year.

We also spent Christmas Eve with my family at my parent’s house and exchanged gifts. Each year we draw names and have to do a “hand made” gift for that person. This year we drew my parent’s name. I was stumped with what I could do for them. About two weeks before Christmas I finally got an idea that I would make them a quilt. I thought it would be a perfect way to use the quilting squares I have had sitting around forever.  In the end I really didn’t have as much as I thought so I did have to go get more fabric. And for some reason I thought it would be perfect to do it with the plaid scraps I had. For a person that can’t cut, sew or trace a strait line, plaid was not a good choice. It is so cockeyed a crazy but all I can say is it definitely represents my personality.  Considering I did not give myself enough time to finish it I got most of the top done and gave it to them. Then I took it back and will finish it soon. I do not have a pic of it yet so I will post that later. The gift that we got was from Kaleb and Crystal. It was a FHE wooden assignment board thingie.  That I will post later too.

The 25 th, Wednesday was our 9^th anniversary and Thursday was Thanksgiving.  Poor Matt last year and this year has had to watch a “stupid vampire movie.” (His thoughts I’m sure) At first we didn’t think we would be able to get a babysitter because all of my family was going to Utah for Thanksgiving.  I have never let anyone else watch them.  Then we found out my parents weren’t leaving this Thursday morning so we took advantage. After the movie we shared a meal at a Mexican restaurant in the casino we were in, and then called it a night. (Our Bio) http://crazyisme.com/?m=200812

I had been sick all week but I was determined to see the movie.  What I was not looking forward to was making Thanksgiving dinner for the first time for our little family. In the end I just decided it didn’t matter and told myself it was just another meal stop freaking out and just do the best you can. That was the little pep talk I gave myself.

I had the hardest time figuring out what side was up on the turkey. Pretty sure I got it right but I was worried.  I stuffed if with apple, onion, garlic, rosemary, bell pepper and celery.  Really anything that needed to be used before it went bad.  Of course it didn’t all fit because I only bought a 10lb bird but I had already gotten turkey juice on it all so I just put it around the turkey in the oven bag. In the end it wasn’t bad just too much onion flavor in my opinion.

There were mashed potatoes with cream cheese in them.  I wanted to do chives in them too but I knew the girls would flip out so I just cooked the potatoes with dried onions and hoped the flavor worked. They were yummy either way.  We had roles, gravy, green beans, and some olives and pickles. Totally forgot to do stuffing but they didn’t know the difference. I just don’t now how you could time it all to get it done all at the same time. What a stress. My turkey was done before everything else so it sat a while and got a little dry.

I did get to use some china that we have never used before. We got it when we were first married from a second hand store. Its an incomplete set for sure, but the girls realized it was something special. We only own a few ceramic mugs and the rest is plastic. But in my china stuff way in the back I found some mugs that were part of a set I had forgotten about and we let the girls use them.

All in all it was great.  The best part was the girls freaking out over the turkey bones. They had never seen any poultry with bones still attached. I have only ever cooked with chicken breast and chicken nuggets.  I pulled at the turkey leg and the bone came out and they nearly passed out. It was too funny.

All in all it turned out fine.

Four letters that carry some shock and fear of the unknown…..

So here it is: early in November Kid 1 was sick enough to keep home from school.  She had fever, chills and aches.  It took over a week of my TLC and I finally got the fever  to take a 24 hour break long enough to get her back to school.

It came back at a low grade but I didn’t care I wanted her back in school.  But her only hold up was her glands in her neck (under the chin) would not go down.  The limp nodes in her neck were huge too.  Bigger then I have ever seen them. She always seems to get her limp nodes clogged anyways every time she gets sick and we rub them loose.  We rubbed down the ones in her neck down as much as we could but the glands under her neck were still big and very hard. Every night for a week I would rub in garlic oil and Vicks on her neck and cover it with a towel.  They went down but were still hard.

So I broke down and took her to a doctor.  Tried out a new doctor really didn’t like her.  She said right off after feeling her glands that it was Mono. “WHAT?! Are you sure it couldn’t be anything else?” I asked thinking of some of the symptom I was aware of that I never saw evidence of.  She ordered blood tests and my Miss Drama Queen freaked out. But Matt took her later and he said she didn’t even flinch.  So we waited for the test results and less then two days latter her glands went down.

Few days later the doc called and said she got part of the test results back and it was negative for mono.  She said she would call later with the rest of the results when they came in. I said “nanner nanner” and called it a day. In the mean time Kid 2 and 3 were slowly getting sick. And then Kid 2 took the fall.  Doctor called back and said the test was positive for mono and showed antibodies for mono. In other words she has had mono before and has it now. “Say What?!” “Then why did you say it was negative the first time?!”  She rambled on that the first test was just a quick result test. (Whatever woman!) She never really gave me a good answer and was surprised that her (Kid 1’s) glands had gone down all the way.

I read up some more on mono and as we know it is highly contagious and it can be in the body for up to a year.  It is not know how long a person is contagious and the younger you are the faster you recover. I kept an eye on the other girls and kid 2 just had a light flu for about a week and then the next week kid 3 the same thing but with some barfing involved.  I think that was a fluke I was holding her and laughing at something she said and wiggling her around and upset her stomach. So she barfed on my bedroom floor.

Then I got sick with a light flu and coughing. It was just a lingering two weeks before I felt really better. Matt stayed home from work for a day in a half to take care of me for the worst part.  In the mean time it was Thanksgiving week and I had a dinner to get on the table. I’ll post about that soon.

The last two weeks Matt has been sick with what I had just a bit worse because I was dosing with TONS of herbaly stuff and he wasn’t.  He had to take off a few days from work again for him self.

Well that is it for our sicknesses (sp?)of the year. (I hope)

My baby is now 3! She is so BIG and so SPECIAL to us. She makes us laugh daily with her innocent colorful view of life. Here are of few of her quotes this year that I was smart enough to write down.

Some from our trip to Utah from another post but too funny not to post again:

Kid 3 in the car: “I want a head bounce.”  (Still haven’t figure that one out)

Kid 3: Cleaning her with wipes “It’s freezing, I like freezing, it makes me CRAZY!”

At a drive through: Kid 1 “I want chicken nuggets!”  Kid 2 “I want fries!” Kid 3 “I want juice in a bag daddy!”

Kid 3: “I don’t love grody.”

Kid 3 singing the song from her favorite movie Enchanted….”How do you know he loves you…” she sings “daddy tells you no…” she starts the song again with her own words. (had to be there)

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We were at Brandon and Eileen’s house for Sunday dinner and I took Kid 3 to the bathroom.

Kid 3 “Mom do’s they have a potty seat for’s us?”

Mom “no”

Kid 3 “Them’s should get one for’s us”

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…speaking potty again

Kid3 “MOM I’M GOING POOP!”

Mom “Oh you are?”

Kid 3 ” Ya I got’s lots of them’s.”

Mom “Oh wow”

Kid 3 “Somebody’s give’s me more!”

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Kid 3 “mom”

Mom “yes”

Kid 3 ” Do we put chocolates in our bums thens poop them out?”

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She was feeling sick while we were at Sam’s Club one day and when we were done we were going to go pick up Grandma. I told her to just hold on and that maybe Grandma’s hug would make her feel better. She said Grandma’s hug wouldn’t make her feel better because my hugs didn’t make her feel better.

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Wish I had written more down because of course I can’t remember them all now. She is so logical but off the wall at the same time.

I made her (per request) a purple cake with pink frosting. In the pics you can not tell its purple because of the lighting but it really was purple.  We had family over for cake and ice cream and presents. She really, really wanted a Barbie computer like her sisters. For over a month she would ask for it. While at the store one day in the toy section “window shopping” We saw it and she went nuts. She wanted then and now. So I said “you have to wait for your birthday but we can take a picture of it now with my phone.” She was content with that. But everywhere we went she would ask for my phone find the pictures and find her “puter” picture and show everyone.

If you want her little life bio here is a link to last year’s birthday/bio post.

http://crazyisme.com/?m=200811

That’s it for my baby girls big day!